Monday, 26 November 2007

How confident are you, REALLY?

It seems to ME that a great many problems we confront in adult life originate in a POOR sense of SELF-WORTH.
Parents simply have not recognised until now ( & many not even NOW!) the amazing difference building up a child's self-esteem can make to the entire course of his life. If a child is NOT encouraged to believe in himself, if he is not told/shown that he is a unique & worthwhile individual, then why on earth would he suddenly begin to behave like one ?

Rather, he will become insecure & will most likely conduct himself in one of the following ways -

1. He may be shy, withdrawn, afraid to take risks, display social anxiety & never reach his full potential, because he feels inferior & undeserving of success.


2. He may become a loud-mouthed, (apparently) over-confident braggart, who behaves as if he knows everything & can be told nothing - which is really only a COVER for his insecurity.


3. He may fit somewhere in-between, externally appearing confident, but internally feeling extremely unsure of himself.

All these people are as insecure as one another emotionally - they have simply chosen different survival techniques in order to be able to navigate their way through life.

Of course, it need not be so - each one is a valuable human being, with his own set of skills - he just doesn't know it - he was never told. And if he were told now, he wouldn't believe it!

Does any of this RING A BELL? Do you know someone like this? Can you yourself identify with one of these types of people? THE BIG QUESTION IS -

Is it the way you want to stay for the rest of your life?

If NOT, what can you do?

1. Spend as much time as possible with people who DO believe in you, who give off POSITIVE vibes, whose company you enjoy.

2. Learn from those who are already GENUINELY confident - find a POSITIVE ROLE- MODEL

3. Avoid people who put you down - they are probably insecure themselves. It might mean changing your group of friends or not seeing some of your family members as often, but REMEMBER - "YOU'RE WORTH IT!"

4. Seek the help of a professional if you feel "stuck" - they'll understand where you're coming from, will allow you to be yourself & will be able to assist you on your journey to a MORE SECURE & CONFIDENT FUTURE!

"The secret of life isn't what happens to you,
but what you do with what happens to you".
- Norman Vincent Peale