Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Our condition IS terminal ...........

The wonderful celebration of Thanksgiving has recently been observed in the US. We would be well-advised to take time out to recognise all our blessings here in Australia also!

Every day people are told that their condition is terminal. When they hear this, a lot of them say, " Things I've taken for granted, like my health, my family and my friends, have suddenly become all-important to me. Trivialities no longer matter."

If you've been grouchy lately, maybe this will help you to SEE THINGS in PERSPECTIVE:

  • If you woke up this morning, you're ahead of the 1,000,000 people who didn't survive the week.

  • If you can sit down, read the paper & drink a cup of coffee, you're better off than the 500,000,000 men, women & children around the world who are presently experiencing the horrors of war, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture & the pangs of starvation.

  • If you can attend church without threat, you've a freedom envied by 2 billion others who've never been inside one.

  • If you have food, clothes and a roof over your head, you're richer than 75% of the earth's inhabitants. (Actually a garbage disposal eats better than they do!)

  • If you've money in the bank, you're among the world's top 8%.

  • If you've got a Bible, you're better off than the 1.5 billion people who've never even seen one.

  • If you can read this, you're ahead of one-third of the people on the planet who are illiterate.

If you've fallen into the trap of expecting much but appreciating little, it's time you remembered, repented & gained a little perspective!

Note: I keep this on my refrigerator to remind me!!

Monday, 26 November 2007

How confident are you, REALLY?

It seems to ME that a great many problems we confront in adult life originate in a POOR sense of SELF-WORTH.
Parents simply have not recognised until now ( & many not even NOW!) the amazing difference building up a child's self-esteem can make to the entire course of his life. If a child is NOT encouraged to believe in himself, if he is not told/shown that he is a unique & worthwhile individual, then why on earth would he suddenly begin to behave like one ?

Rather, he will become insecure & will most likely conduct himself in one of the following ways -

1. He may be shy, withdrawn, afraid to take risks, display social anxiety & never reach his full potential, because he feels inferior & undeserving of success.


2. He may become a loud-mouthed, (apparently) over-confident braggart, who behaves as if he knows everything & can be told nothing - which is really only a COVER for his insecurity.


3. He may fit somewhere in-between, externally appearing confident, but internally feeling extremely unsure of himself.

All these people are as insecure as one another emotionally - they have simply chosen different survival techniques in order to be able to navigate their way through life.

Of course, it need not be so - each one is a valuable human being, with his own set of skills - he just doesn't know it - he was never told. And if he were told now, he wouldn't believe it!

Does any of this RING A BELL? Do you know someone like this? Can you yourself identify with one of these types of people? THE BIG QUESTION IS -

Is it the way you want to stay for the rest of your life?

If NOT, what can you do?

1. Spend as much time as possible with people who DO believe in you, who give off POSITIVE vibes, whose company you enjoy.

2. Learn from those who are already GENUINELY confident - find a POSITIVE ROLE- MODEL

3. Avoid people who put you down - they are probably insecure themselves. It might mean changing your group of friends or not seeing some of your family members as often, but REMEMBER - "YOU'RE WORTH IT!"

4. Seek the help of a professional if you feel "stuck" - they'll understand where you're coming from, will allow you to be yourself & will be able to assist you on your journey to a MORE SECURE & CONFIDENT FUTURE!

"The secret of life isn't what happens to you,
but what you do with what happens to you".
- Norman Vincent Peale

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

This may well SAVE A LIFE!

Sometimes the symptoms of a STROKE are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognise the symptoms of a stroke.


Ask the victim to do 3 things:



3. REPEAT A SIMPLE SENTENCE (coherently). eg It's very hot today.

If the victim has trouble with ANY of these tasks, call an ambulance immediately & describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

Widespread use of this test could result in a prompt diagnosis & treatment of the stroke & prevent brain damage.. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!


Friday, 16 November 2007

Whose Needs are you Meeting?

That's the BIG QUESTION parents need to ask themselves -

As a parent, WHOSE NEEDS ARE YOU REALLY MEETING, your child's or your own??

I was NOT a successful parent!


Because I had unmet childhood needs for affection & acceptance that had not been met..........& I DID NOT KNOW IT!!

So I still subconsciously WANTED those needs to BE met - BUT - I was an adult by then - in years, but unfortunately not emotionally. I couldn't go back and if I had been able to, who would have met those needs anyhow?

So what did I do - WITHOUT REALISING IT?

I EXPECTED MY HUSBAND TO MEET THOSE NEEDS! But he was my husband, not my parent, so that didn't happen & I became more & more frustrated & angry.

Then I began to expect it from my CHILDREN! I was living vicariously through my CHILDREN, expecting THEM to succeed for ME!


But still I was unaware of what I was doing. All I knew was that I was becoming more & more frustrated. You see, I'd buried my needs & pretended I was OK for so long, I'd even fooled myself.

Perhaps YOU can relate to what I've been saying - are YOU an angry person & you don't know why?

Think back to your childhood - was it happy, fulfilled? Or was there something missing & subconsciously you're still longing for that "something", desperately wanting someone to fill that need, & becoming more & more frustrated because it isn't happening? And are you taking it out on those you love?

It took me a divorce & 6 years of therapy to uncover & come to terms with MY unmet childhood needs. I trust that by reading this, YOU might become aware far more quickly - hopefully before too much damage occurs - saving you time, effort & a great deal of hurt.

However, you WILL still need assistance as you work through your issues, so DON'T DELAY, don't sweep them under the carpet - I CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE A MUCH STRONGER, EMOTIONALLY HEALTHIER PERSON & SO CAN YOU!

Monday, 5 November 2007

What kind of Parent are you?

I believe most parents do the best they can with the understanding they have at any given time.

I certainly did & no doubt my mother did also, but that was not enough to ensure that we had good parenting skills.

All we virtually knew was how OUR parents had treated US when WE were children.

The problem is immediately obvious - a variation of the same type of parenting being used generation after generation.


somewhere along the line someone makes a CHOICE to change something.

However, that doesn't occur until there is an AWARENESS that there ARE OTHER PARENTING METHODS which would be preferable.

Until the 1980s there were few resources to tap into, so we just acted by instinct, according to the programming we'd received from our own parents.

Now that was ok IF our own parenting had been loving, healthy & functional, but if not, another dysfunctional family was created, by no fault of our own.

Today we have so many opportunities to access knowledge & support -

Parenting programs




Family services

Relationship classes

Parenting books

Online websites

Are you, as a parent, taking advantage of these resources, or are you still reacting according to your instincts, as your parents did before you? It concerns me that many parents are doing just that - they are NOT MAKING EDUCATED CHOICES about how they will raise their children - when so many resources are today available.

Probably nothing in this world is more satisfying than seeing one's child growing & developing into his/her full potential, but with that opportunity comes the enormous responsibility of deciding upon & implementing the best parenting methods.

To be a "good" parent requires SACRIFICE. If that is something you are NOT prepared to do, for your sake, as well as the child's, think again about having children in the first place!

Friday, 2 November 2007

"Blog Profits Blueprint" - of great assistance

Well I'm sure on a steep learning curve setting up this blog. I thought it'd be quite straightforward & I guess the basics are, but the detail that follows, such as advertising to make money & marketing a blog, are a little more complicated for a novice computer user.

And so I was delighted to become aware of YARO STARAK'S 54 page "BLOG PROFITS BLUEPRINT" (see, which he distributes FREE-OF-CHARGE. It's well-written & a credit to Yaro, who has only been blogging for two-and-a-half years, making great strides in such a short time.

Yaro ( who's an Aussie like me) also runs a Blog Mentoring Program ( see ), which I'm sure would also be invaluable.

Thank-you, Yaro, for saving me time & total confusion - I appreciate the knowledge you've gained which you're prepared to share with those less technologically able.

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can ...
to all the people you can as long as you ever can." John Wesley