How confident are you, REALLY?

It seems to ME that a great many problems we confront in adult life originate in a POOR sense of SELF-WORTH.
Parents simply have not recognised until now ( & many not even NOW!) the amazing difference building up a child's self-esteem can make to the entire course of his life. If a child is NOT encouraged to believe in himself, if he is not told/shown that he is a unique & worthwhile individual, then why on earth would he suddenly begin to behave like one ?

Rather, he will become insecure & will most likely conduct himself in one of the following ways -

1. He may be shy, withdrawn, afraid to take risks, display social anxiety & never reach his full potential, because he feels inferior & undeserving of success.

OR

2. He may become a loud-mouthed, (apparently) over-confident braggart, who behaves as if he knows everything & can be told nothing - which is really only a COVER for his insecurity.

OR

3. He may fit somewhere in-between, externally appearing confident, but internally feeling extremely unsure of himself.

All these people are as insecure as one another emotionally - they have simply chosen different survival techniques in order to be able to navigate their way through life.

Of course, it need not be so - each one is a valuable human being, with his own set of skills - he just doesn't know it - he was never told. And if he were told now, he wouldn't believe it!

Does any of this RING A BELL? Do you know someone like this? Can you yourself identify with one of these types of people? THE BIG QUESTION IS -

Is it the way you want to stay for the rest of your life?

If NOT, what can you do?

1. Spend as much time as possible with people who DO believe in you, who give off POSITIVE vibes, whose company you enjoy.

2. Learn from those who are already GENUINELY confident - find a POSITIVE ROLE- MODEL

3. Avoid people who put you down - they are probably insecure themselves. It might mean changing your group of friends or not seeing some of your family members as often, but REMEMBER - "YOU'RE WORTH IT!"

4. Seek the help of a professional if you feel "stuck" - they'll understand where you're coming from, will allow you to be yourself & will be able to assist you on your journey to a MORE SECURE & CONFIDENT FUTURE!

"The secret of life isn't what happens to you,
but what you do with what happens to you".
- Norman Vincent Peale

"Have you hugged your child today?"

That was a bumper sticker in Australia in the 1970's, when my children were growing up, & on occasion my son would come to me, as I was making an after-school snack, saying just that - " Have you hugged your child today?" Of course he would always get exactly what he was asking for. But it's true, sometimes I did forget in the flurry of meals, piano lessons, soccer & netball practice etc etc .............. & it was great that he was able to remind me in that way. However, maybe YOU have a child or children who find it difficult to actually ASK for affection.



So, "HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR CHILD TODAY?" OR your husband/wife or anyone else whom you love? Because it means so much more if one doesn't have to ASK for it, if it's given SPONTANEOUSLY. And if a child CAN'T ask, as I never could, & they're NOT told or shown, that child may be desperate to know, which in turn could be affecting his behaviour, his self- esteem, his achievements.



I'm sure there are parents out there (like MY parents), who simply EXPECT their children to KNOW they are loved, even though they DON'T tell them or give them lots of hugs, kisses & cuddles. And Dads, don't think YOU'RE exempt - most children are just as desperate for their father's approval as their mother's.



Perhaps it may seem strange to you at first, because that's not how it was for YOU as a child, but believe me it'll be worth stepping a little outside your comfort zone - your bond with your children will become so much closer.



So, "Have you hugged your child today?" If not, DO IT, DO IT NOW!!